Saturday, April 16, 2005
Question Marks.
I'm sorry. Sincerely.
Question marks filled my entire mind when I read her entry last night. Were we not fine just yesterday? And what exactly happened which made her think this way? I have absolute no idea. Maybe you could enlighten me.
Maybe some underlying events or reasons occured which acumulated and causing you to have that dreadful mindset, that our friendship is gone. I have no slightest clue about that as well. Mann. Why do you think that I'm avoiding you? Because I went for training yesterday, instead of lunching at SushiTei with you and Joey? I can't think of anything other than that. Since when did I not tell you anything and blogged down things that made you have the mindset that you do not know a fuck about me? Other than those stuff you do not wish to hear or know about in the first place. Whats my true personality that you mentioned, that you presumed after reading my blog?
"Am i just a person who is there to tell you what to do when you have problems with others?"
This statement is SO untrue. And I really mean SO. That statement was so .... But be more perceptive and think from my point of view. Think about how I would feel when I read that. The feeling was so intensed and indescribable. I do not take you for granted. And I can assure that I won't.
"I feel like an idiot. Stupidly telling you so much about my stuff then believing you tell me everything when you never did. "
I'm really sorry if I made you feel this way. I DO tell you things. You know it. If not, how did we manage to talk for hours on the phone, or in cafes and elsewhere. Yeah I may not tell you everything about myself, but its either just that I don't want to talk about them, or that you claimed before that you do not want to know about certain stuff, and I respect that decision. I can tell you everything about myself, but thats not the whole point, not the whole issue.
I still like you as my friend. Or should I say, my bestest friend. I've never be able to talk to someone endlessly, not running out of topics to talk, discuss, gossip and bitch about. Its sad to read that entry of yours, that you think that our friendship is gone. I, however, disagree. I don't know what to say anymore.
If it seems to you that I don't hang out with you as much as last time, maybe its just because of one reason.
Janine.
4/16/2005 11:55:00 PM;
